


Heavy Hearts

by berrywrites, hoisinn



Category: Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-23 03:03:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13778301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrywrites/pseuds/berrywrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoisinn/pseuds/hoisinn
Summary: He looked at her from across the cafeteria. Her boyfriend had his arm around her shoulders and she hated it. If he had the energy and power to replace that touch with pure gazes and kisses and, well, love, he would.Too bad Ennui would be dead before he had the chance.





	1. discomfort and difference

Crimson was a normal girl, and she had always known that. Not super pretty like that popular Chinese girl in the grade below her, but not so distasteful that eyes would be drawn to her, stabbing whispers directed to her every day. Gazes swept past her ginger hair and pale skin in the corridors, and she was fine with that.

Lunches would be spent in the corner of the cafeteria where posters had started peeling off, only to be held back by the numerous cobwebs beneath the paper. People tended to have two reactions to her- ignore or use.  
Obviously, to be ignored was the better option by far. Crimson had her music, her notebook and honestly? Human interaction wasn't really her forte. Not that she really cared; she had a few close friends in other grades that she talked to occasionally, but she just didn't feel the need to talk.  
One of her faults was that she was a bit of a pushover. She could stand up for herself, yes, but why waste energy and time arguing and rebelling? It wasn't going to matter in a few years, after all. So Crimson let herself be used by the popular girls and guys, getting books and returning notes for them. She was a little displeased, but nothing worth reacting to.

 

She's jolted out of her thoughts with a rough poke in the middle of her back. "Wh-"  
"Damn girl, how loud's that music you've got? Keep listening to that shit an' you'll be deaf before I can even make a move!"  
Oh. It was just Tucker Wilson. Crimson resists the urge to turn around and tell him to kindly fuck off, continuing to stare into her canned cafeteria soup. There's a period of silence and she thinks he's actually gone away before the headphones are knocked straight off her head and onto the ground, probably breaking something. Dammit, those costed a year of her weekend job.

"Tucker, I'd r-really rather not talk to you now."  
He looks a little taken aback for a second or two before he leans forward, smirking. She's overpowered by the stench of cologne. "Oh, an' just skip to making out instead? Never took ya for the foxy type but hey, not complainin~"  
One of his crew whispers to her. "You'd better not turn 'im down girl, Willy 'ere can get ya ta places you'd never thought you'd see"  
Like Crimson had actually wanted to go into a club or a party in the first place. "I'd rather not-"  
"You'd be a popular kid. You'd be respected."

Oh. Oh my.  
She can tell Tucker had picked up on the glint in her eyes, as vision impaired by those horrible sunglasses he is.  
"I'd take ya out on dates an' treat you like the sexiest woman in the world, baby." He pauses to stare down her entire body, gaze resting on her skirt. "That's an awfully short skirt honey, not many gals have the legs an' ass to pull that shit off."  
Alright, that was getting a little uncomfortable. "T-tucker, pleas-"  
"Shh, leave the talking for later. You're my girl now. Imma take you to prom, how 'bout that? You're gonna wear a tight lil white dress, yes, that'd suit your body perfectly, and you'll do your hair and chop off those rank black highlights, and we can spend the whole fuckin' night together."

His finger's lightly brush Crimson's collarbone, drifting ever so slightly under her sweater. Despite the coolness of his skin, she felt like she was on fire.  
His friends didn't seem to notice.  
But what was wrong with it? It's just an accident; he didn't mean it, right? There's nothing wrong, and yet.

"Please don't touch me, it makes me uncomfortable" is what Crimson would say. Why can't she do it? Because it would draw attention to her? Because she's afraid of confrontation? There's so many reasons why she can't stop anything and shit his hands are moving further down, he's underneath her shirt, he's moving somewhere more alone,

"O-oh, ok, that would... that would be great. S-sorry, can I go to the toilet f-f-first?", Crimson stammers, immediately shifting away without waiting for a reply. She can hear the irritated tone of Tucker's voice as she calmly walks down the corridor (stay calm, act normal), quickly turns to the left (almost there, slow down slow down!), and almost collapses into the bathroom, out of breath from running.

He probably acted like this with all the single girls at his disposal, she thinks. What a dick.  
Wait, no. Other girls didn't act uncomfortable around him. Other girls laughed as he traced lines on their necks, smiled as he took them into classrooms, stayed around him until he found someone else. Did... did she want to be like other girls? No. No. She was Crimson Gaskell. She was already like the other girls. She was normal, not pretty, not ugly, completely unnoticeable.

But why did she react like that?  
Why was she so different?


	2. watching

Ennui sighs. Another day, eight hours wasted sitting in class. Class isn’t his strong suit. Nor was talking. Or anything for that fact. That’s why Ennui was... well, to put it bluntly, planning to kill himself after he graduated. The thought didn’t frighten him. He’s had pretty bad depression since he was twelve- he can’t recall anything traumatic. No family deaths. Maybe it was school. But his mental health slowly deteriorated, along with his will to live. There wasn’t anything to live for. He struggled to find a reason to wake up, he was an average B and C student, and didn’t have any friends. Not a single one. I mean, he chatted with some people online who he shared interests with, but, other than that... he was alone. And had no reason to live.

He’s doodling in his sketchbook, earbuds plugged in as he ignores the disgusting school food beside him. Just in time for the music to stop and for the next song to load, he looks up and spots the other weird kid. Crimson. She always caught his eye- they had the same fashion sense, and admittedly, he thought she was pretty cute. When she got black highlights in her hair, he wasn’t sure she could get any more eye-catching. He’s interested in her.

So when Tucker Wilson is talking to her like she’s the same as everyone other beach blonde airhead at this school, he’s about to snap. Especially when he touches her. He wants to stand up for her- get up and slam the nearest lunch tray against his head. How dare he disrespect her? Ennui almost stands up, almost chews out Tucker, but the words he wanted to get out so bad were stuck in his throat.

Wait- hold on. Why did he care again? He’s never even talked to her before. All he’s done is stared at her, and sketched her in the corners of his notebook when he didn’t feel like taking notes. Why? Maybe he had a crush? He heard other kids talk about girls- how they always got the girls they wanted, different girl’s butts. It was kinda weird, actually. But that’s not a crush, is it? That’s just thinking someone is attractive. He doesn’t have long to think about it as Tucker mentions prom. He wasn’t really planning on going- it was actually when he was going to write his note. But... I mean, he was gonna go and make sure Tucker didn’t pull any shit on Crimson. The girl he had never talked to, and now realizes he has a crush on. Good job. He has a month to get everything together- what he’s going to wear and all that. He doesn’t mind going alone. Okay, sounds good. Crimson walks out of the cafeteria, and Ennui locks eyes (or at least he thinks he does, can’t tell behind those glasses) with Tucker before the piece of white trash returns to where he formerly sat.

He wouldn’t let him hurt Crimson. No matter what.


End file.
